The empty wine bottle sat on the coffee table in front of me. It seemed to mock me for drinking so much. I stood and took the bottle and glass to the ...itchen. The glass went into the sink and I dropped the bottle into the trash. Turning to the fridge, I took a beer from the door. Before I sat at the table, I pushed the button on the coffee maker.Not sure if the beer would help, I just stared at it while the coffee brewed. The warm aroma wafted in the morning air. My head was on my arms when. ” And with that, I was sealed in tight. I heard your chuckle as the air slowly got sucked out from around me. Immobile I lay there waiting…Not knowing what was to come … would it be just you touching and teasing my body or would you pick and chose who may join in or maybe you would just stand back and watch as I was opened up to the room like the girl on the cross…. It felt like an eternity as I lay there not knowing. I couldn’t see and could hear only muffled sounds as I felt fingers slowly. She was helping me serve dinner. During dinner, one of the other girls invited Lindsey to eat at their table. She wasn't at first, but I insisted. The adult table's conversation was all about preparing for the next competition. I glanced over at the girls table, Lindsey was quietly eating while the other girls giggled and joked with each other, typical teenage girl stuff, that obviously didn't interest Lindsey. Before we were finished, my boys asked if they could go over to Jakes for the night.. So, performer that I am, I started to smile and participate. I helped cook meals, I kept the house clean the way Mistress would have wanted it. And when Eric came home, I showed the very real emotions I had for him, for him having a home, for him being home.I lied, in other words. Because I was dead inside. I felt anxious all the time. I felt lost and alone, that no one understood me, that no one really cared about me. I even felt a little bit of resentment towards Eric because they clearly.
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